Talk the Talk 话话世界

There is an observation I made regarding people around and their guiltyness. Guilty is a feeling, a feeling whereby you feel that you responsibility for something usually a bad thing, and you either feel depressed, frustration, anger, sad, dissapointed or all from the above. Come back to my observations, guilty actually is something more like a product by mindset, code of ethics and principles usually. I said usually because there are times where guilty is not present even you know that you did something wrong because you don't feel it's wrong.

Two stories I got.

First one, cindrella's step mother always let cinderella behaved like a maid but not her daughters. She rectricted her freedom,or more precise, she didn't allow her to have an equal social chance where she may get to know her mate or the prince in the story. We learnt that she is bad, in fact the worst character in the whole fairy tale.

But we all grown-ups. Let's try to made it a more 3D story. If you are a daughter of the stepmother, sister of Cindrella, someone who is much more uglier than Cinderella, and then most probably you wouldn't think that your mum is bad. Your mum love you and this why she did not let you have too much works. She knew that it wouldn't be a fair compete between you and your sister provided you don't have the look, the talent to sing or in another words you a loser since you are born. Things that your mum did may not be right, but come back to the baseline of everything, she did it because she love you and she wants the best of the world for you. So think twice, you think your mum is bad?

Second one, a superman killed a bad guy; A bad guy killed a police. A superman is awesome, a bad guy is awful. This happened in almost all the audiences who watched Superman and criminal films. But not to the wives of the bad guy. In case A, their loved husband is killed and the killer get no punishments but great responses all around the world. Case B,their husband has to do this because it's a way to protect themself, the police may be violent, may just shoot him, or may just blackmailed or threaten him and so the husband has to do something and he just did.

See, mindsets are different,guilty or not, it's all depend onto it.

You feel guilty when you know something you do is not really right or in a sense it fails to convince you that it's the best solution that you got. You gave your little sister on the swing a little push so she fly higher and enjoy better, but that little push resulted her to drop and fell hard. The sense of guilty presents because you think that the little push is not necessary even though you had all the good intentions just to made your sister happier.

You don't feel guilty even you did something wrong but it convinced you that the best you can get out of nothing. Like, you are a victim of snatch theft. You reported to the police, the police said they got no prove or any evidence, and so this case is closed and sorry. The next day, you met the exactly same snatch theft who is snatching. You managed to get into your car get close to him. You didn't not stop but banged him. He was just slight injured, managed to stand up and prepare for another run. But you wouldn't not let him go. A few punches will do to made him stay on the ground. But it never be enough for you. Another few punches and kickes, he passed out. You send the guy to the police station, police asked who did the punishments, you said you don't know and you just walk off. Police did nothing because he thinks that it is reasonable.It's wrong to beat someone up at least you used to think so, but not when you are confronting someone who had hurt you and you knew that beating him up may be the only punishments he got.

It's always easier to know someone is guilty or not in criminals but not in conflicts.

There are always several sides on the conflicts, normally all have their own set of speeches, reasons, proves and claims. During the confrontation, all will came up the best they can to show that they are right while the others are at fault. While the claimed fault parties will always deny and proved themself nothing wrong.

This what we see normally in conflicts. What we didn't see is their feelings after conflict.

All parties will showed signs of guilty because they are touched by the words of the other sides. The believe on their ownselves shaken, no longer that strong, and they start to be convinced maybe they are not that right after all.

Then a depression, anger and frustration occured. But human mind will never be simple, another mindset will came up just to defense themself. And so a much more depressed feeling happened and the guilty start to be there.

Even people don't claim they are guilty but they start to show actions. Hiding out the whole incidents, leftout segments where they believe they are at faults, modified claims and story-telling, a repeatation of points and statements to convince themself and the others or just a frustration give up in explaning and telling which normally come with things like "I didn't expect you to understand" "Fine,stop here because you will never understand."

Actually when people said things like this, they actually believed it's not enough to convince the others to believe them. At least even themselves are not convinced.

The one who speaks louder may not be true, but the one who never speak will never be true because it's true that human always want to prove themselves right by actions or just words.

And so one thing that we need to sure of when we are in the conflicts, asked ourself are we really have nothing better at that moment, should we feel guilty of our act?

If we do feel it, just say sorry and apologise. No point of force yourself to be big,argued and try ways to equalise both sides. The end of the day, you still feel the guilty and it's even bigger than it was.

And if you believed you are not guilt of anything u did, you can try to prove the others should do, but mostly in the process you will get a little bit convinced. What you want is just a sorry or a statement to made you sure of that you are not guilt, if you yourself can get it why bother to force to have it from others?

Guilty is a feeling, it varies according to your role, time and progress of incidents.

One thing that we know, when there are things that are not true, normally it came with a sense of guilt.

The more religious you are, the more ethics you are, the easier you get to feel guilt, because you always try to be a role model, thus more considerations before you believed in what you believe.